What Not to Ask Your Reader (And What to Expect If You Do)

There are lots of questions we'd love to have the perfect answer to, the solution that shows us the right path to take to a happy ending. Questions like, "When will I get married?" or "Will I ever be rich?" are typical wonderings for any person, but should you ask your tarot reader to help you with them?

The answer: probably not.

I covered a bit of this in my article on how to phrase a tarot query, since it's also best practice on the part of the client to phrase a query in a constructive way that begets a story from the cards, but there are some places most readers just will not go. That's not to say a reader that chooses to read for any kind of query is unscrupulous or a fraud, but the general ethics of modern tarot readers follows a certain criteria.

What Not to Ask About

The three biggest topics I've seen readers steer very, very clear of are medical, some romantic, and life or death queries. We aren't medical professionals, so we can't tell you if you're going to be diagnosed with something. It would not only be inaccurate, but it would open us up to all kinds of legal trouble. Same with tax or financial advice. If you're looking for an answer on whether to spend your tax refund on a boat or college for your kid, talk to an accountant. Or maybe just reassess that whole thing.

We also won't be able to and (most) won't want to answer the "Am I going to die?" question. The obvious response is "Yes, eventually," but if you're trying to find out if you'll die on your summer road trip, you're not going to get it from us.

A lot of readers also won't answer romance or relationship queries related to another individual who is not present. If you want to know if your husband is cheating on you, talk to your husband. If you want to know how to make your classmate fall in love with you, we can't help you there, either.

Questions relating to criminal activity or legal advice are also generally out of the picture. If you ask us about whether or not you're going to get caught for poisoning the neighbor's cat, don't expect a positive response.

Many readers also won't facilitate queries between you and a deity. If you have a question for God, ask Him yourself in your prayers. Trying to contact Freya? Find a ritual or ceremony online to do so. If your reader is a stranger to you, they're probably not going to want to act as a go-between for you and a cosmic entity. Most readers will also not use the cards to speak to a deceased loved one on your behalf. If your reader doubles as a psychic or medium, you will have to pay for that service, unless they specifically do it through tarot reading.

One final don't: if you're not willing to accept an answer to a query that isn't exactly what you want to hear, don't ask. We (and the cards) aren't here to give you a perfect solution, and sometimes, the outcome of a situation isn't always in our favor. That's just life. If, for any reason, the reading you get is totally off, feel free to tell your reader. Just do it politely. If it's actually just an answer you didn't like or don't want to face the truth of, that's not the reader's fault.

What to Expect If You Do the Don't

If you decide to disregard all of my above advice, you can expect several common outcomes.

First off, your reader may tell you an outright, "No." They may offer you a refund or request a rephrasing of your query. Some may feel uncomfortable but continue on with the reading, which creates a bad atmosphere for storytelling. You'll most likely receive an inaccurate or nonsensical response from the cards, or a very blunt one. Please don't be rude to your reader if you've decided to bring them discomfort and conflict by asking them about your toe fungus.

What's the Lesson Here?

Use common sense. If it's not something you want anything other than a "yes" or a "no" to, don't ask. If it's something that could get your reader into legal trouble for answering, like "Do I have cancer?" or "Should I bet it all on black this weekend?", don't ask. If it's something that could make your reader uncomfortable or has been clearly defined in their policies as against their creed, don't ask. We're not doomsayers or oracles, at least many of us aren't, and if that's what you want, I'm sure there is someone out there for you.

Take this advice as a tip for proper etiquette when requesting a tarot reading. Oh, and before I forget:

No, you can't have a free reading.